Today I had one of those days. You know the days when my kids are acting normal, but they still annoy me somehow. When nothing sounds exciting. When I have to FORCE myself to set food before my family...(not cook it, or serve it, but just set it out on the counter and say..eat) When I should be doing something productive but can't summon the desire to do it....uhgg. I am glad I don't feel this way very often. After contemplating why I am feeling this way, I have come up with this list of reasons.
*Although I felt so inspired and uplifted during conference, it also brought me to the realization that I am VERY far from where I need to be. I am not like the amazing mothers that were spoken of during conference. I am not patient. I am not always a good example for my daughters to look at. I fail in many ways. It's overwhelming to realize how much I need to work on.
* After weighing myself I realized that I MUST stop eating like a pig. Somehow this realization depresses me. I enjoy eating like a pig. I love food. I love feeling full. I love dessert. The thought of living life on a limited diet makes me grumpy.
* That stinking scale also made me realize that I need to exercise....that too makes me grumpy. Where is the time for that? Where is the energy for that? I hate all the exercise in the whole world.
* Another prompting from Conference is that I really need to stop watching all the crap on TV that I have allowed myself to watch. This is one of those pet sins that I am having a hard time parting with. Satan is so good at making the dramatization of wrong choices being made by others so entertaining to watch! Now what will I look forward to at the end of a long day? BLAHHH!!!
13 comments:
you may be right about loving dessert (what woman doesn't?), but you are sure wrong about not being a good example for you daughters. Jill, you are an awesome mother and I'm so thankful to have you raising my grandchildren. Just throw the scale away...you look great! Love ya!
Thanks for sharing this Jill. I have been having a lot of the same thoughts and feelings. Why can't it be easier to take care of our bodies, minds, and spirits? It is a lot of work!
Amen and amen in a bad/sad way. I hope by now you are back to your zippy fun self. All the talk in the world wont convince you if you FEEL that way for a spell. I dont see any bad mom in you and you look great. TV is my downfall as of late too. But say that you hate all the exercise in the whole world again to my face...I happen to really like it although it does me no good except makes me feel like I did something good instead of my normal wasting of time.
My bright spot is that Christian is finally "into" reading...and it's the Hunger Games none the less. He reads a paragraph and then I do and it's so fun. We just read the interview where Peeta confesses he likes Katniss in the interview. Christian had insomnia so, stupidly, we started to read. That is not a book to read if you want to fall asleep I tell you. Now it's 11:30 and he is just falling asleep...I will pay for it tomorrow but it was a fun evening.
I hate exercise, too, and the only reason I can make myself do it is so I can look a little cuter and eat a little more. Shallow!
I had a very similar day yesterday. And it is a little depressing to realize that you're not doing nearly as well as you want to believe.
Hey Jill!
I was saying the same things..and Kevin told me to stop watching conference like a girl, and start watching it like a man! What does that mean? To take the suggestions as suggestions and not as a personal attack. They are speaking generally. If only I could just do it. You are amazing and I am sure that if a g.a. wanted to use you in his talk he could find a good story about you too!
I'm sorry it's one of those days. I am starting to see that we all have them. You are amazing, talented, and a great example to me. Please don't try to take in the suggestions from general conference in one gulp. Isn't it supposed to take 6 months for all that to sink in? (At least that's what I keep telling myself) Maybe there is a compromise. Maybe you could watch 30 minutes of a TV show if you are spending that same 30 min on the treadmill? Then reward yourself for that 30 minutes with a piece of cake. 3 birds with one stone!! Let me know if you find the answer, I'd love to hear what it is.
Jill, Let me share one of my favorite quotes from conference with you..."A distraction doesn't have to be evil to be effective." As I listened to conference, I too commented to Brett how much families were talked about and our roles as parents, but then I heard this quote during conference and realized that the brethren KNOW how Satan works...little by little! Don't let Satan "distract" you from the good you are doing to make you dwell on negative things! Take the things you learned and pick two of them to work on! You are a great person. You can do whatever you put your mind to! I hope today is going better for you!
I don't like exercising much either, but if I dance around to fun music that usually makes it easier. A spoon full of sugar ...
How nice that you have time in your schedule for TV. Between the laundry, planning, FHE, blogging, emails, work, meal prep, family history indexing, temple trips, grocery shopping, journal writing, church callings and other errands, I don't even have time for TV. (And I don't even have kids, unless my husband counts. :) )
You have so many blessings.
Okay Ms. Jill, we need to chat. Just last Friday I thought two things. 1) Darn that Jill for always looking so cute and skinny and 2)what a great mom she is to her girls. So there. But seriously, you are a great mom and I mean it. Your family is an inspiration for ours to try a little harder to be a little better.
As for the dessert thing, I am with you 100% Today I was going to be strong and eat only healthy food, but 3 cadbury creme eggs later, it's not looking so good. Tomorrow is another day, right?
So...you are human! You're not always perfect? I always thought you were, but I'm glad to know you have ups and downs too. But I do have to say that you ARE like the mothers that were talked about in conference...you spend quality time with your kids making cool videos, acting in plays, singing etc... You're amazing! (and you really don't have any weight to loose...so enjoy the dessert)!
Whew - I'm glad someone else feels that way after conference. I thought I was the only one that gets down afterwards, but never wanted to admit it to anyone because I thought there must be something wrong with me.
(P.S. there are MANY days I think if I could only be as happy and a great mother as Jill - because you are even on off days.)
Amen, ditto, etc.
and Stacey, I need Kevin to come and give me that speech.
I woke up with a headache Monday morning unable to do the most mundane of tasks and thinking all day long: "I have taught my kids NOTHING." ....and I've decided that the scale is evil.
I feel like that about once a month. It's called Part-time Mental Syndrome :)
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