Although I will not use this blog as an outlet for sharing my sacred feelings about our precious boy, I don't want his birth and death to go undocumented on this blog. Especially as I intend to print it and use it as a journal for my family and future family to read. I will give a short account of the things that happened, and only a small small account of all the things I feel and love about my precious baby boy.
Max Raymond Bearden was born to us on Dec 17th. I hadn't been feeling a lot of movement and had decided to go and get monitored. They found an even heart rate, but it wasn't fluctuating like they would have liked, and the doctors decided to induce labor. Max was born without a pulse and he wasn't breathing. After 45 min of CPR they got his heart pumping and were able to life flight him to Primary Children's Hospital. The rest of the story is sacred to me, and I will write it down in a journal that I am keeping, but Max passed away in my arms on Sunday, Dec 19th 2010.
Words can't express the emptiness we feel at his loss. I miss him every second. I so looked forward to holding my soft warm baby for hours and hours. We are so blessed and grateful to have him for eternity. We know we will see him again. Thank you Max for everything you did for me and your family both in life and in death. We miss you so much. We so looked forward to adding you to our earthly family. While we don't always understand why you had to leave, we have felt comforted and know this was Heavenly Fathers will for you. We wish this was enough to fill the void of not having you. Maybe someday it will. We love you Max.
